Wednesday, August 31, 2011

the same

this period has to go away.  I'm totally bloated, and I'm not losing any weight.  today I lost ZERO pounds.  booo.

I'm going to try revisiting my menu from the first week, and I'm going to try to eat all of my allowable food, even though I don't feel like it.


NOTHING, not even a little.



Tuesday, August 30, 2011

slow

I lost another .4lbs but I'm really waiting for something bigger.  I realize though that I have never weighed this little (for more than a day or two) in my entire adult life and TEEN life even.  Many many many many years.  So... if my body wants to take it's time, so be it.  I have three weeks left and only about 10-15 more pounds til my goal for this round.

Anyway, short and sweet.  Today I weighed in at 144.4.  Didn't do anything off protocol yesterday except eat salsa as my vegetable at lunch and forgot to eat second fruit.  Also forgot second melba.

here comes the slowest train ever

Just took my last dose of the first mixing.  I'm 4/15ths done with p2.

Monday, August 29, 2011

sigh

Still massively bloated and periody.  Was disappointed to only be down .2 this morning.  Haven't been sleeping well though and haven't been taking my normal naps (I know, I'm a little old for naps but someday I'll be working 60 hours a week and there won't be naps anymore so I'm taking them while I can!)... but maybe I'll get a big drop tomorrow if I drink a shit ton of water today.

Jalepenos aren't technically on protocol but I've been eating my fish with salsa as my vegetable.  I have to figure out how to make things interesting; I don't want to eat anymore.

Except today.  Today I'm pretty hungry.  I think my hcg is losing it's effectiveness since I'm on my second to last dose.  I'm going to remix tonight.

It's getting harder and harder to find pictures for this task.



Sunday, August 28, 2011

not now

Down just .4 lbs today. Went to a party yesterday.  Did pretty well.
Didn't lose as well this morning though so for my own records here's what I ate yesterday:
  • 1 sip of vodka/7up
  • 1.75 apples
  • .5 wasa cracker
  • 1oz cucumber
  • 1 oz of celery
  • roughly 6 oz of chicken (that had touched the fat of other meats on the grill and thus, was delicious)
  • 1 thumbnail size shrimp from a pasta salad (wasn't even that good)
  • 2 or 3 diet 7-ups
  • 1 cup of Smooth Move tea
    I also TOUCHED a lot of fat as helped prepare food.  I don't really have to do anything special to fix this behavior since it's only my party behavior and I'm out of parties for the moment.  Plan on starting p3 on Oli's birthday exactly.

    Oh, other changes... I didn't take a nap as I usually do and I did not sleep well AT ALL last night.  I could probably go back to sleep and lose more but there's too much shit to do today.
    145lbs today.  wish it were better, glad it's not worse.

    Saturday, August 27, 2011

    when I'll be impressed

    So this morning my weight was down .8, not as high as any other day, but totally fine with me, so far this week, I'm averaging about 1.1 pounds a day.  If you count my loading weight, it's even higher.

    I have barely been eating my vegetables or last fruit... sooo not interested.  I get my protein in though and I never skip my morning apple.  I want to try this chili that I've been hearing about on the forums but apparently tomatoes and beef stall people.  I'll try it when I get a little further in.  So far all of this weight lost seems tentative, like it could all go away in a day (which is true, if I just quit the diet and don't stabilize).

    My lowest weight in my adult life was this spring, 141.8.  When I beat that with this diet, I'll be impressed.



    Just .8 down at 145.4

    what is this?  I don't even know.

    Friday, August 26, 2011

    one tenth of the way there

    I was sure that I wasn't going to lose anything this morning... I made mac and cheese for the family last night and I so, so wanted some, even though the exact same-tasting mac and cheese will be available for consumption in 3 months, I felt like this was the last box.  I got over my cravings, didn't even eat a noodle, but splurged on Truvia.  Truvia is not on protocol but I've been eating it (in small amounts!  I'm not that into sugar) every day with no problems so far.  Night before last, around dinner time, I only ate about 1/2 of my protein and didn't eat my fruit or vegetables but last night I ate everything available to me.  I'm pretty sure my fish was more than 100grams.

    I even dipped my strawberries in Truvia.  I guess this isn't weird to people, because the logo for Truvia is a strawberry dipped in Truvia, but I have a thing about making sweet things sweeter: it's unnecessary and fucking gross.  Strawberries in sugar I guess isn't so bad since it's like dessert, but the things people do to sweet potatoes!  disgusting!

    Also disgusting, I thought I was constipated because I hadn't gone at my normal time (should have been yesterday morning) so I drank some Smooth Move tea last night and that is probably some of my weight this morning.  That shit works, and a little too well.   I must not have been constipated because there was never anything hard and on the third toilet trip it was all water.  I've been drinking water to compensate.  I don't expect to lose as much, or any, tomorrow, but I say that everyday and have always been surprised.

    One amazing thing, then I'll tell you my weight and you'll be done hearing about my bowels, when you do low carb you lose so much water weight and you feel all unbloated and ready to get into smaller jeans right away.  On this diet, I am losing but I still feel bloated and unwilling to try on smaller clothes.  Probably just the period.  When this stupid period goes away I should probably lose more water weight.



    OK so today's weight: 146.2!  That's 1.6lbs down from yesterday and 5.8lbs over all!  We'll see how tomorrow goes- no tears if there isn't a loss.

    Thursday, August 25, 2011

    in brief

    So much to talk about but just so little blogging time.

    Morning weight, 1lb down!  despite my three week long, barely-there period turning into a full-on blood bath.  noice.

    147.8... that's 4.2 net pounds lost.


    it was surprisingly hard to find a corresponding photo today.

    Wednesday, August 24, 2011

    delighting in the little [calorie] things

    Normally when I cook, I sort of have this lunch lady slop style of plating food- maybe because the portions are generally so big there's really no room for pretty on the plate.  Since I've been cooking for myself on this diet, though, the smaller amount of food leaves me free to garnish.

    the small amount of food doesn't make me a better photographer.

    Really, it looks like (size of meal-wise) anything you'd see on a restaurant show/anything with Gordon Ramsay and it looks like the pictures in Cooking Light or other healthy food publications.  Three days ago, I would have said "that's not enough food for anyone" but now it's more than filling.

    One trick, I don't do anything but look at my food while I eat it.  No munch and type.  They, whoever those people are, say that this enhances the taste of the food and in turn makes you more satisfied.  I just think it's incredibly boring and it makes me want to stop eating so I can do something else.

    The other trick is this Trader Joe's jalapeno hot sauce... it's CRAZY GOOD and I'm not a hot sauce fan in general.  It's not that I don't like spicy things (though generally I don't) but hot sauce just has a weird flavor, maybe from the vinegar.  This stuff tastes good though.  I want to drink it out of the bottle.  It has made the perfect replacement for cocktail sauce in my shrimp and it's sugar-free and zero calories- GET YOU SOME!

    Between meals I was munching on Trader Joe's sesame melba rounds.  You can have ONE round twice a day on this diet AND they're like the size of silver dollars AND mine were stale AND they had fat in them which the melba on protocol is not supposed to.  So I switched to these Wasa crackers, they're pretty big and one is both servings for the day so I ate half at lunch today and it was so satisfying.  I'm into that "whole grain" flavor (hamburger buns being the exception) so these are right up my alley.  They have no fat, though they have slightly more carbs than the TJ's sesame melba.  I don't know if I'll eat the other half tonight, I didn't need the melba last night- we shall see.

    I bet these taste like cardboard to everyone else.

    The people on the HCG boards say that some use it but it is NOT ON PROTOCOL.

    Well guess what?  Neither is melba toast because I'm sure you cannot find any melba toast that is exactly the same as it was in the 50s when Simeon's wrote the manuscript and a lot of people use Old London melba toast and that has sugar in it.

    I'm good at following policy literally but sometimes you gotta look at the spirit of the policy and sometimes you gotta just throw shit out.

    i want some cheeeeese

    The next phase of this diet is "p3" wherein one eats basically Atkins induction.

    I'm so looking forward to it!

    I'm not having a difficult time on this but oh how I miss cheese.  I read somewhere that cheese has opiates in it.  I believe it.

    Weighed in this morning at 148.8, 2.2 lbs down from yesterday, and 3.2 overall.  I definitely don't expect to see 2+ lb losses daily, I think I just took a big... ahem... this morning.


    there is a lot of booze that is also my weight

    Tuesday, August 23, 2011

    onto another day

    I got through my first day without any big problems.  As bed time neared, I actually felt really stuffed and kind of sick from the smell of Joe making himself a burger.  I lost a whopping 4.4 lbs overnight (but only .8lbs overall), I'm now at 151 even.  That is obviously not from fat (water and shit mostly) so I don't expect that to continue, and actually I won't be upset if my weight goes up a little (marginally) at some point during this diet.

    I've been having neck/shoulder problems and it's hard to get comfortable (and my bed is very soft, which is not at all my favorite way for mattresses to be) so I haven't been sleeping as soundly as I'd like to.  I've been making up for it by sleeping longer... or trying to anyway.  Last night I had so many dreams.  In one, I ate some pineapple cottage cheese that is, in real life, in our refrigerator right now, and realized it wasn't on protocol and then I melted.

    won fiddy won


    Monday, August 22, 2011

    even if it's all a sham

    I realize that not everyone who might read this knows about the hcg diet or dieting in general.  Because of inherent laziness and because of the sheer volume of documentation, I have not and probably will not get into much description of the diet, other than the day-to-day protocol.

    I also realize that 500 calories a day sounds frighteningly low.  And it's easy to say "well, shit yeah, you'll lose weight eating 500 calories a day."  and it's easy to, having that thought, worry about muscle loss and other possible health problems.

    I've read enough, and seen enough real life examples to be, myself, convinced that it works.  I am not concerned.

    BUT.  If I'm wrong...

    Here's something about "starvation mode"... when one is starving, their level of activity is automatically lowered and they require less calories.

    Medicine and technology and all other science have the advantage of being multi-lifetime pursuits.  When one scientist dies, another goes on to continue working and advancing.  So we live in a highly advanced time.

    Evolution is much slower.  Our bodies have not evolved as fast as science has advanced.  There have always been times of famine and times of plenty but in the Western world 2011, there is mostly just times of plenty.

    What I'm saying is, I'm not going to kill myself, or even get sick from a month of famine; I'm adapted for it.  So even if the hcg is a complete placebo (and I do not remotely think it is), I'm going to be A-OK.

    the real diet starts

    First day v.ery l.ow c.alorie d.iet.  It's generally not difficult for me to not eat anything in the morning... I started to get really hungry when I arrived to school at 10:30.  I ate an apple, felt great through my whole class, and didn't eat anything again until 3:00.

    Physically, I am not hungry, including the mental-physical brain hunger.  Nothing.

    Psychologically, I just miss eating already.  It's not that bad, it's not hard to get distracted from, and I'll get over it.

    I spaced my meals out well, I think.  It's almost 8PM and I still have a protein, a veggie, and a fruit left (and a melba toast, if I decide to eat it).

    I made a good dressing out of Bragg's apple cider vinegar.  Pretty much my dressing is vinegar, water, and parsley, basil and black pepper.  I mean... I like it but I just like vinegar.  I used my dressing on some lettuce that I ate with chopped up onion.  This isn't technically protocol buuuuutt... I don't know... I feel like onions are more like a spice (sort of) and jesus shit, 2 cups of lettuce doesn't even have 15 calories.. I HAD to find a way to get more in than that.  I'm going to try not to do that in general.  I just didn't have enough cucumber to make it my vegetable and I want to have asparagus tonight.


    I am craving things (bad things) but I am not hungry.  I'm actually glad I'm doing this, just as a lesson in self-discipline.  Catholics do lent for 40 days (and it used to be harder than today's I'm-gonna-give-up-orange-soda Catholics are accustomed to).  I can do this.

    loaded

    I am done loading!  I took my first v.ery l.ow c.alorie d.iet injection today (it's not any different than the other injections but I'm better at it now and it hurt less).  I did my darndest to eat all of the foods I like but mostly I just felt sick all day.  I bought sugary stuff to eat but couldn't finish any of it so there's still pie and ice cream and yogurt pretzels and a cupcake in here.  That doesn't bother me now, I suppose it might later.

    My weight this morning was 155.4, an increase of 3.6 from yesterday and an increase of 3.4 overall from start weight.  Some women gain a lot; I'm not too worried about 3.4lbs at all.

    I'm ready to get the weight loss part started though, for sure.


    I'm lazy and I still haven't made my 3.5 oz sections of meat for the freezer... definitely on the to do list today.

    one fiddy fi' point fo

    Sunday, August 21, 2011

    boo[ze], you suck

    _~* uffggghhh.  Can you drink during loading?  Probably should have looked into that 14 hours ago.  I hope loading on Heineken is okay.  I don't know how much I drank- well, enough that, carefully spaced throughout the night, I was my drunkest at 2AM when the bar closed and enough that I've been shitting my guts out all morning (see?  How nice!  There's a cleanse part of this diet.)

    Alright, I did a quick search on the hcg diet info forums and it appears many before me have asked about alcohol during loading and it is okay.  No one was really forthcoming with how much they were planning to drink- no one said "is it okay if I get buh-lasted during loading days?" but to be fair, those weren't the search terms I used.


    So this morning I weighed in at 151.8, a loss of .2 lbs but not very realistic.  I'm working on it as I write this, but I'm very, very dehydrated this morning.  Whatever, I'm keeping the number in the record, I'll shoot up 8 lbs tomorrow.

    mentally add the decimal

    Saturday, August 20, 2011

    starting weight

    I should probably mention that my starting weight this morning was 152lbs.



    hcg... day 1... mix and load

    So I don't know... I fucked up on mixing my hcg.  What I was supposed to do was have 4ml of liquid total but I actually only had 3 and I didn't realize this until I had started pre-loading syringes (and I don't even know why I was preloading syringes in the first place... it was just something my mom did.)  So I squirted the liquid back in, I'm sure I lost a ton of liquid because I ended up with 11 instead of 13 doses.  I guess that's not that big of a difference.

    First shot didn't hurt going in but I didn't care for the pressure of the liquid as I injected it.  But I'm okay.  I think I lost some hcg.  Better get good at this by the time the very low calorie diet starts.

    For those of you not familiar with the hcg diet, let me give you enough information that you can at least follow what I am saying.  I'm not going to get into the why, you'll just have to trust that I've done my research and this is the diet I'm going to do.
    • hCG is a hormone.  Generally it is prescribed as a fertility treatment.
    • I buy it from an online pharmacy.
    • I mix it with an injection liquid (bacteriostatic water)
    • I will inject .30mL every day for 40 days.
    • The first two days, I will "load" and eat as much of whatever as I want (been loading for 23 years actually)
    • From that point on, I will eat a v.ery l.ow c.alorie d.iet of exact foods in exact portions.
    • After the last injection, I eat very vcld for a few more days.
    • For three weeks after that, I will eat whatever but no sugar or starch.
    • For three weeks after that, I will slowly add in carbs, while maintaining my weight.
    • Then I can do it all over again if I still have weight to lose.
    So while I load today and tomorrow, I'm going to try to just eat healthy fats.  I have GOT to get my hands on an avocado.  But, I also plan on eating some food that I really like since it's going to be at least 84 days before I can eat them again, but who's counting?

    Friday, August 19, 2011

    body wrap

    Today I went over to my mom's and got a body wrap.  They have at-home kits these days and hers is particularly professional because that's what she used to do professionally when I was a kid.

    To me, a body wrap is as second nature as using toilet paper but if you weren't raised by a very health-conscious mother, you probably think a body wrap is when you go to a spa and get your whole ass covered in kelp while flutey world music plays in the background.

    Well you're wrong.  Dead wrong.

    You're wrapped in ace (Ace?  ACE?) bandages soaked in a mineral solution.  Per the body wrap theory, fat cells are pushed apart by toxins in the body giving you flab and cellulite and just making you generally more awful looking than you have to be.  So your body exchanges the minerals for the toxins (I don't know if that's true.  I'm not saying it's not, but I don't know that that's scientifically accurate.  I do know that toxins and other messes are stored in fat tissue, as are hormones like estrogen.) and the toxins are sent out to collect in plastic bags that are rubber-banded to your hands and feet.  The ace bandages then push your fat cells together.  For this to work particularly well, you need to have a softer, more broken up fat.

    I am not really the ideal candidate for this as my fat is pretty much solid but I did lose some inches, especially in my arms.  You aren't supposed to lose weight with this, as the fat is not used for energy and eliminated; it's condensed.

    It's hard work and kind of uncomfortable.  It's not something I want to do weekly but I do think I will do a few more during my weight loss journey, if not just to satisfy my mother's curiosities... but for me too... it makes my skin extra soft and glow-y.
    a tracksuit made of thick garbage bag material keeps you warm and makes you look homeless.

    first day is the easiest

    So I am going through a lot of changes right now in my life.  I'm about to graduate community college (oh yes, I dream big), I'm rebuilding my collection of crap post-flood,
    ("I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others." - M. Bamford)
     Oli is about to turn 3, got my entire head of hair bleached, and other goings ons.  Seems like a good time to try to lose weight again.

    That being said, welcome to the journey.  I hope I don't give up halfway.