ready to move on

my dedication to p2 is waning... it's not that I'm tempted by junk food or anything (thought actually grosses me out)... I'm just... ready to move on... even though there are still losses to be had... I'm hungrier, I'm less content.

I was kind of bad today.  Did this survey at the mall where I had a few sips of vitamin water and a bite of a saltine (to cleanse the palate).  I think the saltine bite can count for the melba I skipped, and probably any sugar from the vitamin water was burned immediately as I walked ALL DAY today.  I didn't drink enough water.  I'm trying to make up for it now... we'll see.  I ate Fage 0% but felt REALLY hungry afterward so also had 3.5 oz of steak.  No vegetables though (I'm out).  Ate too many fucking almonds... I'm just feeling so meh.... so unsatisfied by everything (except fat)... so wanting to move on.

Tomorrow, if there's a loss... no injection... I'm moving on.  If there is a gain, I'll go until I get back to 136 and then I'll move on.  I know I only have four injections left so... who knows I might feel better in the morning (or worse) and feel okay about going about the entire 4 days.

Going about 1.5hrs away to Tonica to attend my aunt's funeral... will be out there all day... not sure what I'm going to do to stay on protocol... guess I'll have to make food in the morning to bring.

is it fat?

down .8 today to 136!

and I'm SURPRISED... because yesterday, I skipped my first fruit, ate my eggs and only threw away one yolk instead of tossing the usual 2, ate almonds in the middle of the day, ate a 5oz steak for dinner (with fat) and cut up cucumbers and onions and ate them with... RANCH DRESSING ZOMG.  then ate even more almonds.

So the fat experiment continues, though... it's only been going on for 3 or 4 days... need MOAR EVIDENCE.

what is this?  it's awesome!  why am I asking what it is?  I'm the one who found it.

not including today, I have a total of 4 injections and weigh-ins left.  My lofty-probz-not-gonna-happen goal was to get down to 132.  That's probz-not-gonna-happen, but It's possibly I get down to 134!

takes fat to lose fat

I am very excited about my 1.6lb drop today.  I'm convinced it's because of the almonds.  Yes, ate more almonds yesterday.  and ate beef TWICE.  AND DIDN'T CUT ALL VISIBLE FAT OFF MY STEAK.  and I lost a bunch of weight.  Wish I had realized this earlier in the round but every time I eat a little more fat an usual, I drop a little more weight than usual.

So I'm thinking about it... and I'm feeling rogue.

oops

so today I am down .2lbs.  I'm actually a little surprised I'm down at all.  I didn't sleep well, I think I might have had too much water, and... I *gasp* cheated.  YES, cheated.  "Hilarious" because I just told someone yesterday morning that I hadn't cheated once, then that night I ate 11 almonds.  HAH.  I thought that it was going to turn into a binge thing but I felt completely satisfied with 11 almonds.  Entirely content.  Not eating them after that (and right now)... not a problem.  I don't want to be one of those people who cheats and then goes "I just think my body needed Chips Ahoy cookies; I think we should listen to our bodies."
BUT
I do think my body needed those almonds.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm now anemic because of/causing a month long period or if my body just wants fat.  My vote is on the anemia... next time I get a craving for almonds I'm just going to eat more beef.  And I'm going to try to take an iron supplement, if I can find one that isn't useless.

and I may take this back tomorrow or Thursday but I just have a good feeling about having eaten those almonds.  I wonder if sometimes people produce so much cortisol stressing about cheats that they gain.

onward ho!

so it's day 21... so I've completed 3 weeks of vlcd... WOW.  just 10 more days to go... which also means it's 10 days until my son Oliver turns 3.  Can't wait to make a sugarfree cheesecake!

I'm feeling good about my losses (was 1.2 lbs down this morning- awesome) but I'm not excited about blogging.  I don't really know what's what or why some things happen.  I haven't taken good enough accounts of my meal plans to notice any patterns.  I will say this, I've eaten taco bell twice and lost well the next day both times.  I've been veering from protocol lately... today I had eggs and onions and tomatoes and spinach for lunch and ground beef in spaghetti sauce (sugar free!) for dinner.  Kind of don't care but the spaghetti sauce has olive oil as an ingredient and has 1g of fat.  It was really good.

At this point, I'd like to drop about 4 more lbs... but I'm feeling good where I am.  I don't really care.  I've never been in the 130s as an adult and here I am and I feel... pretty much the same... so there you have it and there it is.

minus 10000

gain

So I gained .2lbs.  I'm totally not tripping... I ate most of my food and drank most of my water pretty late last night.  Also, I've been very near protocol but I haven't been on protocol exactly completely 100% in a few days (ate beef for the last 4 meals and had non-lowfat beef on Sunday).  I will attempt to stay on protocol today and drink lots and lots of water.  I didn't expect to lose an entire pound yesterday so it's all good, my average still comes out to .67lbs/day and that is above average for women.

it's a miracle that i lost anything but I had a long night and don't much feel like talking about myself.

ate taco bell (beef, scooped out of shells, forgot to specify chicken) then over-ate p2 foods later because I was really crave-y.

not to scale

I think I'm still moving.  I thought I had a handle on my scale but this morning it's giving me 4 different weights.  I've decided to go with the one in the middle, since they're all had roughly the same frequency.

I didn't think I was going to lose this morning (and maybe I didn't... weird scale) but I'll take the loss.  Today is the end of week 2.  I lost 3 lbs this week.  Not bad.  Since I've lost 10.2 lbs overall (net, I'm not counting loading gains), I'm averaging about .73lb loss per day.  I seriously see that going down to about .5 but, so far I've been surprised by my ability to lose on this diet.  I knew it would work but I thought it would be a much bigger struggle.  If I can keep up the 3 lbs/week from this point forward, I will be okay... I'd end at about 135lbs... my goal is 132 lbs so schwatever, that's really close.

Yesterday (and I would call this a "cheat" really), I went off protocol and had almond milk in my coffee instead of bovine milk.  Didn't seem to be a problem.  I wouldn't even have needed milk if the lady at the Target Starbucks didn't add a sickening amount of sugar-free hazelnut syrup to my iced coffee.  I also had trouble sleeping last night.  This may or may not be due to drinking iced coffee at 10PM.

slow

I lost another .4lbs but I'm really waiting for something bigger.  I realize though that I have never weighed this little (for more than a day or two) in my entire adult life and TEEN life even.  Many many many many years.  So... if my body wants to take it's time, so be it.  I have three weeks left and only about 10-15 more pounds til my goal for this round.

Anyway, short and sweet.  Today I weighed in at 144.4.  Didn't do anything off protocol yesterday except eat salsa as my vegetable at lunch and forgot to eat second fruit.  Also forgot second melba.

here comes the slowest train ever

Just took my last dose of the first mixing.  I'm 4/15ths done with p2.

not now

Down just .4 lbs today. Went to a party yesterday.  Did pretty well.
Didn't lose as well this morning though so for my own records here's what I ate yesterday:

• 1 sip of vodka/7up
• 1.75 apples
• .5 wasa cracker
• 1oz cucumber
• 1 oz of celery
• roughly 6 oz of chicken (that had touched the fat of other meats on the grill and thus, was delicious)
• 1 thumbnail size shrimp from a pasta salad (wasn't even that good)
• 2 or 3 diet 7-ups
• 1 cup of Smooth Move tea

I also TOUCHED a lot of fat as helped prepare food.  I don't really have to do anything special to fix this behavior since it's only my party behavior and I'm out of parties for the moment.  Plan on starting p3 on Oli's birthday exactly.

Oh, other changes... I didn't take a nap as I usually do and I did not sleep well AT ALL last night.  I could probably go back to sleep and lose more but there's too much shit to do today.

145lbs today.  wish it were better, glad it's not worse.